I wrote recently about the lens we all see things through like, “a meal isn’t complete without a little something sweet.” That Personal Paradigm of self-sabotage can also be turned inward, taking on a different level of meaning when you gain awareness of the thoughts you have about yourself.
Here are the top 5 damaging ones I hear:
“I’ve tried so many times and just can’t lose weight.”
“I can’t stick with it.”
“My body is disgusting.”
“I don’t have enough willpower.”
“I deserve it.”
If you’ve ever uttered something like this, you probably thought nothing of it. To you, it felt true. But these kinds of statements simply reflect how you think about yourself.
They are not true.
And they are the epitome of self-sabotage. Try it yourself. Pick a similar thought that regularly floats through your mind. How do you feel when you think it?
Rather than the feelings we want to have like motivation, inspiration, or determination, every client I talk to tells me these statements bring up things like shame, disappointment, and hopelessness.
Why is this important?
Because to live day-in and day-out the healthy lifestyle you truly want, you must feel determined to take consistent action. You don’t take that action from a place of hopelessness. If you could, you’d already be doing it.
So, how can you stop self-sabotage and shift your Personal Paradigm of how you view yourself?
You cannot leap to super positive thoughts. You’ve probably tried that. For one, it feels fake to force a happy face, repeating “I love my body,” while picking at a boring salad as your husband eats a bacon cheeseburger. And even if you could do that once or twice, it’s short-lived.
Instead, gradually shift your thoughts one step at a time:
“I’ve tried so many times and just can’t lose weight.” -> “I’ve learned a lot about what doesn’t work so I can avoid the same mistakes.”
“I can’t stick with it.” -> “Maybe I can stick with it this time.”
“My body is disgusting.” -> “I have a body.”
“I don’t have enough willpower.” -> “I have the willpower I have.”
“I deserve it.” -> “I deserve much more.”
As you practice the new thought it will feel more true. Then you can up the ante. You start thinking “I have a strong, amazing body.” And you believe it. Not overnight. Over time.
The key is this: you cannot wait to have the body you want in order to love your body. You cannot wait to have all the habits in place to think amazing things about yourself and your ability to follow through. You must cultivate a Personal Paradigm now of the person who has done it all in order to accomplish it.