Weight Breakthrough

7 Ways I’ve Made My Life Ridiculously Easier

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7 Ways I've Made My Life Ridiculously Easier

Want to make life easier? I do. But not just easier. I only want to make life easier if it also makes life better and creates a healthier outcome. Because sure, it’s easier to let dirty dishes stack up in the sink day after day, but the eventual cockroach infestation is a big turn off.

In my life, I’ve found a number of ways to make things easier that I want to share with you: 

  1. Calm the self-critic: Berating myself for mistakes was exhausting. Now when I get something wrong, I acknowledge that it sucks, then remind myself that it’s perfectly human to mess up, and give myself grace (thank you, Kristen Neff, for this cool exercise). The mental energy I save is liberating.
  2. Plan food and follow through: This saves drama and makes it 10x easier to not overeat or make food choices driven by emotion. Deciding ahead of time means I’ve taken into consideration the things that are important to me (health, stamina, taste) and I don’t have to spin and wonder what to eat, or second-guess my plan. Do this and you can trust your choices were made from love for your future self and a desire to be your best.
  3. Let people be who they are: I want to change my husband’s behavior. And people I work with. Some family members, too. Come on, I’m a coach. I have great ideas that will make life better if they just listened to me. Turns out, people don’t like to be coached against their will. (Or told what to do by anyone.) I may have influence in the lives of people around me, but not control. I trust that someone may know something I don’t, and have a better understanding or approach than I do. I relax when I let go of the mental scheming of trying to change someone else and allow them to have their own journey.
  4. Stay focused on the task at hand: One small way I’ve done this is with my morning getting-ready-routine. I used to break away midway through the first coat of mascara to check email or start breakfast. Inevitably my attention was drawn away for longer than planned. Task switching wastes time and, more importantly, saps your brain’s energy. 
  5. Allow people to be disappointed: In a desire to please others, we fib. We don’t want to go to that function or do that thing, but instead of politely saying so we make up excuses, which feels icky. And we have to keep the excuses straight. Or, we give in and do it, grumbling inside. Trying to manage how other people feel is draining and takes away from anything productive or relaxing you may want to do.
  6. Get it out and schedule it: Clients tell me it’s overwhelming to continually carry over to-do’s they don’t complete, or have 17 tasks in their head that they keep “remembering” need to get done. The minute I notice something nagging at me, I realize it’s only in my mind. Right away I get it on paper and calendar it. Relief! And I don’t plan 13 hours or work for an 8-hour day, or allow tasks that are weeks out to get continually copied onto the next to-do list. They are scheduled and forgotten, until I need to do them. 
  7. Love the toddler, but don’t give her the wheel: My toddler brain acts up often. Like when it’s time to shut down social media and she begs to scroll. Or when I take out stir-fry ingredients to prepare dinner and she argues that pizza is better and quicker. Whenever I allow my toddler to take the wheel, regret follows. Because I didn’t accomplish what I wanted, which means I didn’t keep my word to myself. I’ve learned to acknowledge my toddler and understand why she wants what she wants, but then let her know I have a different plan. And I’m sticking to it. 

I know my seven ways to make life easier are not quick hacks. You’ve probably employed all the easy ones and you don’t need me for that. 

And yes, these take focus and effort to implement. But I promise that if you cultivate the mindset shifts and habits I offer, your life can be ridiculously easier in all areas. By the way, coaching can help with that. 

7 Ways I've Made My Life Ridiculously Easier
Photo by Kristin Brown on Unsplash

Can positive thinking really help you lose weight?

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I’ve seen positive thinking bring about amazing results in my life and that of my clients. I’ve also seen it produce feelings of guilt and anxiety, yielding the exact opposite of one’s desired outcome.

Why such dramatically different results? Because it all depends on what you believe. That’s the main problem with negative thoughts: you believe them. And when you believe them, you fulfill them (i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy). 

In her book, How Emotions are Made, the Secret Life of the Brain, Lisa Feldman Barrett says that we look to past experiences that guide our actions. For example, you create a concept of weight loss, by categorizing past weight loss attempts. When you see that they “don’t work” or “I failed” you essentially predict failure the next time. You literally plan to fail.

Even if you gather up enough motivation to try again, your first skipped workout or trip through the drive-thru, builds on the case against your ability to lose weight. 

(You may have similar experience in business or relationships…can you see the parallels?)

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Now you might say, “but Heather, I believe my positive thoughts. Don’t they balance out the negative?” 

It depends. If your belief in the negative feels really true, simply pasting on a happy face and insisting that “I know I can do anything I put my mind to…” will feel fake. And then it takes a lot of energy to pretend to yourself that you feel good about it. I also see positive thinking invoke guilt or shame for someone when her negative thoughts are persistent. 

If you want positive thinking to work for you, use these 3 techniques:

  1. Gradually inch towards the positive. Take a persistent negative thought that you have and make it less negative. Like “I can never stick with an exercise plan” becomes “sometimes I’m consistent with exercise and sometimes I’m not.” Find something that feels just as true as your automatic thought and replace it when it pops up. Slowly move this negative thought towards neutral. Practice it enough and you’ll be ready to move it to positive. 
  2. Notice how you feel. Just because a statement appears positive does not mean it will make you feel good. To be effective, a positive thought needs to invoke the feelings you want. Is it motivation, determination, confidence, excitement, calm? How do you need to feel to drive the actions you want to take? Find one key positive thought that feels genuinely good to you and practice it throughout each day.
  3. Track your daily wins. Especially the small ones. Helping your brain acknowledge that small successes are relevant to your long-term goals makes it more likely that you’ll be consistent. Because small steps lead to big results.

It’s okay – and totally normal – to feel negative. Like, when you don’t follow through on your healthy habits you probably want to feel disappointed. But don’t wallow in disappointment. Use these three techniques to move from negative to positive in a way that really works for you.  

Hey, want to watch my video on how to change from a negative to positive mindset? You can watch it at my Facebook Group, here.

How to keep consistent with healthy habits when life throws you off track

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How to keep consistent with healthy habits when life throws you off track

My dad likes to say that life is what happens when we’re making plans. My clients certainly find this to be true. They want to keep consistent with healthy habits but something always seems to block their best intentions.

You know what though? So much of life is more predictable than we pretend. That is, we know we’ll be disrupted at work. And sometimes need to work late. We know the weather won’t always “cooperate.” It’s really not a surprise when kids create a mess or need to be picked up from some activity at the last minute. 

How to keep consistent with healthy habits when life throws you off track
Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

So, why not plan for these things?

The problem isn’t the problem. The problem is thinking there shouldn’t be problems. Planning for – expecting – ideal circumstances sets you up to not keep consistent with healthy habits. It’s one of the biggest reasons I see for people getting stuck in the lose-regain-lose-regain weight cycle. 

To execute consistently on your plan I recommend having a backup plan. Here are three options to consider as you create yours:

  1. If not A, then B: This is about alternatives. “If it’s dark when I get home and I don’t feel safe going for my jog, I’ll ride my stationary bike. If my friend can’t make our weekly walk appointment, I’ll listen to my favorite podcast to keep me company.” 
  2. Minimum standard: Setting a baseline minimum prevents all-or-nothing from taking over, particularly when you have an extended situation that makes it easy to put your healthy habits on the back burner. “No matter what, I exercise for 5 minutes every day. Whatever’s going on, I have a piece of fruit every morning.”
  3. Have a plethora of options: Have a list of 10 different exercises (e.g. lunges, planks, jumping jacks, even stretches) that you can combine together for a 10-minute workout. Develop a list of go-to meals that you can throw together at a moment’s notice (I talk about this in my Back on Track Challenge that’s coming up next month – let me know if you want to be first to be notified when it’s starting). Then keep certain foods stocked that you know will fit the bill. 

These are ideas to get you going. Now brainstorm several in each category. (Even come up with your own category and share below!)  If you regularly take action on your healthy habits – or try to – this will be a significant boost to your consistency.  

Ultimately, you want to avoid being surprised by things you could readily predict. Be flexible and plan for contingencies. That’s how you create the lifestyle that “gets you there and keeps you there.”

8 Quick & Easy Ways to Kickstart Feeling Better and Getting Fit.

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