3 ways to manage overwhelm better than a glass of wine will

Up until a few years ago, I enjoyed a glass or two of wine most days. It wasn’t a problem per se, but then I looked at why I was drinking it.

For one thing, I genuinely enjoy wine and belong to wine clubs I like. And it’s fun drinking good wine with good friends. I also thought that it helped me relax and wind down after a hard day.

Some of those reasons I like, which is why I still drink wine. But the last one didn’t sit right with me. 

If I was honest, the need to relax or forget my day came from feeling overwhelmed with too much to do, or rehashing all of the things that went wrong that day which made me feel like I deserved a treat. I just wanted to escape for a while and not think about it all.

And I wasn’t getting sloshed or missing work. Plus, lots of people did it. Memes on social media indicated I wasn’t alone. What was the big deal? Well, the big deal was that I was using wine as a way to 

…manage overwhelm,

…make myself feel better after a bad day, and

…treat myself with something special.

It was a pattern I’d trained myself into so I knew I could train myself out of it. 

manage overwhelm
Photo by Terry Vlisidis on Unsplash

Here are three ways I learned to manage overwhelm without a glass of wine (or ice cream, or insert your “self-management style” here):

  1. I retrained my brain: feeling overwhelmed comes from thoughts like “I have too much to do” or “I don’t know how I can possibly get everything done.” I gradually learned to tell myself that I have plenty of time and energy to do the things I want to do. Now when that feeling comes up, I step back and notice it’s coming from a thought. I see if there’s any validity to it and if I need to delegate or take some action to lessen the load. Then I remind myself I’ve got it handled.
  2. I took time to recognize wins: at the end of the day our minds easily grab onto the bad parts, like the flat tire or oversleeping our alarm. I began consciously recognizing the positives, particularly those that were the result of my own efforts which allows me to feel successful. These don’t need to be big wins – notice that most of the “bad” stuff in our day is not monumental, either. Simple acknowledgement of the good helps to neutralize our tendency to go negative.
  3. I found real pleasure: My coach taught me that many of the things we enjoy are false pleasures. For me, enjoying Tolo Cabernet on Saturday night with friends is a genuine pleasure. But two glasses of wine on Tuesday night is not. Once I thought differently about my day and started exploring what treating myself really looked like, I found true enjoyment. And I realized that I deserve so much more than vegging out with wine to relax after a long day. 

The best part is feeling like I have the tools to relax and manage my mind around overwhelm without “needing” a glass of wine. 

The same is possible with anything else we misuse to distract ourselves from feeling bad or uncomfortable (like food, social media, Netflix). And once you learn to do it with one thing, you can do it with anything to create a healthy lifestyle that you absolutely love!

Who doesn’t want to reduce stress, right?

Who doesn’t want to reduce stress, right? (And I’m talking the bad kind – not the good stuff, like you just got a $100K bonus.) The topic comes up often when meeting with clients so I decided this month to focus my Year of 50 on the Top 50 Ways to Reduce Stress:

1. Prune your schedule
2. Start the day with a balanced breakfast
3. Avoid skipping meals
4. Moderate alcohol intake
5. Spend time on a creative endeavor
6. Dance
7. Look for the positive
8. Exercise – choose something you enjoy
9. Stretching
10. Go for a walk – with a friend is even better
11. Use calming essential oils
12. Reduce caffeine intake
13. Journal
14. Focus on gratitude
15. Spend time with those you love
16. Laugh
17. Start saying “no”
18. Yoga
19. Meditation
20. Deep breathing
21. Take mini breaks throughout your workday
22. Take one day off each week for rest and rejuvenation (if necessary, start with a half-day)
23. Surround yourself with positive people
24. Avoid comparisons
25. Spend time in nature

Photo by Sharon Wright on Unsplash
Photo by Sharon Wright on Unsplash

26. Learn to stop procrastinating
27. Reach out for support
28. Do a body scan, relaxing each body part as you go
29. Take a mindfulness course
30. Play games
31. Sex
32. Soothing music
33. Play with your pet
34. Protect your sleep
35. Take a nap
36. Consider biofeedback
37. Prayer
38. Regular massage
39. Read a book for enjoyment
40. Visit a Naturopathic Doctor for a personalized supplementation approach
41. Be present
42. Avoid dwelling on the past
43. Avoid anxiety about the future
44. Guided visualization
45. Hug and cuddle
46. Learn self-hypnosis
47. Identify difficult people in your life and strategize ways to communicate with them
48. If communication isn’t fruitful, limit exposure to difficult people
49. Simplify your surroundings
50. Chew gum – some studies show it helps (and better than eating when you’re not hungry)

Easy, right? In theory, yes. But it requires mindfulness, taking the time to stop and notice what you’re experiencing and seek a way through that keeps you healthy, sane and feeling good. Experiment with several of these to see what really connects with your true needs.

May you cultivate greater ease and well-being.

Top 50 Ways to Reduce Stress

Who doesn’t want to reduce stress, right? (And I’m talking the bad kind – not the good stuff, like you just got a $100K bonus.) The topic comes up often when meeting with clients so I decided this month to focus my Year of 50 on the Top 50 Ways to Reduce Stress:

1. Prune your schedule
2. Avoid added sugars, especially first thing in the morning
3. Avoid skipping meals
4. Moderate alcohol intake
5. Spend time on a creative endeavor
6. Dance
7. Look for the positive
8. Exercise – choose something you enjoy
9. Stretching
10. Go for a walk – with a friend is even better
11. Use calming essential oils
12. Reduce caffeine intake
13. Journal
14. Focus on gratitude
15. Spend time with those you love
16. Laugh
17. Start saying “no”
18. Yoga
19. Meditation
20. Deep breathing
21. Take mini breaks throughout your workday
22. Take one day off each week for rest and rejuvenation (if necessary, start with a half-day)
23. Surround yourself with positive people
24. Avoid comparisons
25. Spend time in nature

Top 50 Ways to Reduce Stress. (And I’m talking the bad kind – not the good stuff, like you just got a $100K bonus.)
Photo by Sharon Wright on Unsplash

26. Learn to stop procrastinating
27. Reach out for support
28. Do a body scan, relaxing each body part as you go
29. Take a mindfulness course
30. Play games
31. Sex
32. Soothing music
33. Play with your pet
34. Protect your sleep
35. Take a nap
36. Consider biofeedback
37. Prayer
38. Regular massage
39. Read a book for enjoyment
40. Visit a Naturopathic Doctor for a personalized supplementation approach
41. Be present
42. Avoid dwelling on the past
43. Avoid anxiety about the future
44. Guided visualization
45. Hug and cuddle
46. Learn self-hypnosis
47. Identify difficult people in your life and strategize ways to communicate with them
48. If communication isn’t fruitful, limit exposure to difficult people
49. Simplify your surroundings
50. Chew gum – some studies show it helps (and better than eating when you’re not hungry)

Easy, right? In theory, yes. But it requires mindfulness, taking the time to stop and notice what you’re experiencing and seek a way through that keeps you healthy, sane and feeling good. Experiment with several of these to see what really connects with your true needs.

May you cultivate greater ease and well-being.

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