How do you handle regret?

There’s a philosophy of “no regrets” meaning that everything you’ve done in life, every choice you made, happened exactly the way it was meant to.

Well, yes, in the sense that it happened. So clearly it was supposed to. 

But no, in the sense that you could have made a different choice. And in hindsight you may have.

What’s actually important is how you use regret to change your future behavior, rather than define it. Which often means preventing future regrets

Start by considering regrets you currently hold, both large and small, like:

  • Worry over what someone thinks about what you said at the meeting
  • That you let your health slide
  • When you put work first a little too often
  • Drinking too much the night before
  • Not telling the truth

Recognizing regret is the first step. It’s in essence saying, “I don’t want to do that again!” But don’t let it mean more than that. Lamenting your past is like arguing with reality. Unhelpful and hurtful. It keeps you stuck, recreating a past you don’t want instead of a future you do.

Photo by Alexa Williams on Unsplash

Once you recognize regret, identify its usefulness. If you drank too much last night, consider the situation:

  • How were you feeling and how do you want to behave the next time you feel that way?
  • What made over-drinking possible and how can you set yourself up for a different outcome? 
  • How do you want to feel the next morning, and what will make that possible tonight?

You want to take responsibility and learn from it, but stop before it becomes blame. Cultivate the ability to have self-compassion and treat yourself well, and not wallow in self-indulgent behavior (you know, the very thing you regret!).

We’re approaching a time of year that for many people becomes a six-week habit-busting whirlwind that ends in regret, and feeling “behind” come January. 

So how about changing that this year and set yourself up for a No Regrets January? I am starting an easy three-day challenge to walk you through how to enjoy the holidays without deprivation and still fit into your pants on January 1. Email me and say “I want in!” and I’ll make sure you’re among the first to be notified when it’s announced next week!

Do want your pants to fit on January 1?

Then you’ve got to start now.

Planning, that is.

Ugh! I know. I said the “P” word. Fun just left the house.

But we plan so we can have fun and still feel amazing.

Women tell me that in November, it all starts to go to hell. So, with my clients we develop strategies so they don’t deprive themselves but also don’t demolish their progress.

Because they want to enjoy the holidays. And they want to eat cookies.

I bet you do, too.

Do want your pants to fit on January 1? Then you’ve got to start now. What would make you smile through the next two months and on January 1?
Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels

Start with a look back at recent holidays. Where did it go off the rails? What are your triggers? Why did you over-eat? Or have a few too many adult beverages? Approach it like a researcher, not a judge and jury. Promise?

By knowing the kinds of situations and scenarios that present challenges to you, decide how to prepare for them. Also consider how you want your holiday season to look and feel. What would make you smile through the next two months and on January 1?

We also need to keep in mind that the holidays will likely look different this year. We’ll be considering things we haven’t needed to before. Some temptations might be greater. Others less. Stress may come from unexpected places.

But whether you’re stressed about spending time with your mother-in-law or stressed about staying at home, the tools to deal with both are the same.

You may also be surprised by unexpected blessings from our current situation. As you encounter them, think about how to savor them. Is there a lesson you want to take into future holidays? Or simply into daily life?

So, think about having your pants fit in January. Think about starting the year already on your game. Feeling healthy. Strong. Amazing.

Sound fanciful? Not at all.

Join me for a No Regrets January during my FREE 3-day challenge. You can enroll for free here:

Here’s to pants that fit on January 1!

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