how to succeed

Work hard play hard: How to do things you don’t want to do

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I’m all about work hard play hard this month. Inspired by my trip to Miami with that very theme, I’ve thought a lot about how to implement it as a way of life. 

It starts with being intentional about how I invest time and resources in my business. The contribution I make to my community. And having a meaningful personal life (which includes maintaining my healthy hottie status😉). 

To do this requires two important traits.

The first is a willingness to do the uncomfortable thing since it beats the future discomfort of not achieving my goals. 

Because while I love what I do, I don’t love everything I do. 

Sometimes I finish a third conversation with someone who says “no” to coaching and I question my value. 

Or a subscriber flags my blog post as “spam” in her inbox and I feel unappreciated. And a bit peeved.

Or I need to make a phone call to someone who’s not happy with me.

The key is I don’t avoid the discomfort of working through these tough situations with false forms of “play.” 

 

Like, watching Friends reruns well past lunchtime when I felt like “I deserve a break” (it wasn’t that long ago…). 

The antics of Monica, Joey and the rest brought temporary pleasure. BUT, I was avoiding the discomfort of work (and the act of avoiding was also uncomfortable), and then I was uncomfortable later when the work wasn’t done! Triple whammy.

Have you done that? Escape into false pleasure is settling for less, when what we really deserve is so much more! 

The second crucial skill is focusing on what’s in front of me. Even writing this post I briefly distracted myself by brewing another cup of coffee and returning some emails.

I do this by planning my day ahead of time and honoring it. Which means I don’t use laundry to procrastinate. I don’t spend time scrolling through funny cat reels when I’ve scheduled work.  

As my distraction above indicates, I’m not perfect at it. But I don’t tell myself I’ve “blown it” when I slip up. I get curious and plan for how to do better next time.  

The way we build integrity with ourselves is doing what we said we’d do. The more we do it, the better we get at it. 

What about play?

Play is easy when I plan my calendar, focus on what’s in front of me, and open up to discomfort. And, this is critical, I schedule “me” time, play time. I am not an afterthought.

Ultimately, work hard play hard is balancing a small number of key priorities and intentionally pursuing them. Discomfort and all. 

How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail

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How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail

When we focus on how to succeed, we generally look to the outcome. If we get the outcome we want (like the scale going down) then #winning. If not, #loser.

It’s an outdated view of success. Binary. Winning is left – largely – to chance.

In truth, your success depends on your willingness and ability to recognize all of the ways that you are winning. 

Please do not gloss over that last sentence. Both willingness and ability are critical to you feeling super successful every day, no matter the outcome you achieve. Let’s break them down:

Willingness means not holding yourself to perfectionist standards. Maybe taking an ugly win. You were going for a 20 lbs weight loss this past quarter. You lost 3. Take the win. Acknowledge what you did to get there. Congratulate yourself that you didn’t gain 3, which was your past trajectory. 

Yes, assess the failure. Learn. Refocus. Retool. And go again. But go into it feeling like Serena Williams who knows she’s a winner, even when she’s lost a tournament.   

Ability is looking for what you might not normally think of as a success. Say you picked up that glazed donut and ate three quarters of it before coming to and thinking “whoa, what happened here?!” and put the remainder in the trash. You might be tempted to feel bad about what you did eat. Instead, take the kudos for stopping when you could have wolfed down the last few bites (do you know how hard that is?!). 

How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail
Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

Take 47 seconds now and come up with five ways you’re winning today. Like you…

  • Ordered a grande instead of a venti
  • Took a 4-minute walk instead of scrolling to pass the time
  • Responded with grace and understanding to the complaining coworker you’re not fond of 
  • Walked the two flights of stairs to your office, even when the elevator opened right in front of you
  • Stopped halfway through a bag of Cheetos and put the rest away

If you want to know how to succeed it starts here, with recognizing all of the ways you are already winning. When you come from the place of being successful, you prepare yourself for successful outcomes. You are more likely to take the actions necessary to achieve your goals when you feel like a winner. 

Another way to win more…have a Strategy Session with me. Let’s talk. 

Is there a guaranteed way to lose weight?

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Absolutely. If you follow through consistently, experiment, and don’t give up you are guaranteed weight loss. 

Not quite what you were thinking? Perhaps you want the guarantee to include the weight coming off easily. Where you never hit a plateau. And you don’t crave junk food in the office breakroom. 

What if you could be guaranteed weight loss in spite of your wish list not being fulfilled? 

But first, realize that if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you are guaranteed to not lose weight. Or to lose it and regain it. That’s the guarantee you know. The guarantee that’s comfortable, even when it’s not. 

We often want a guarantee when faced with a decision that involves a significant investment of money, time or energy. Or sometimes a combination of all three, at which point we really desire surety that we’re making the right decision.

What we actually want is to avoid making a mistake because avoiding the pain of making a mistake is more important to us than the success that may come from a new direction. So, we decide to stay where we are, not take a risk…to stay safe.

But that gets us more of the same, which has its own pain.

Sometimes women who consider hiring me to be their coach say they want a guarantee that they will get results. But they are looking for a guarantee from the wrong person. I can show them how to stop self-sabotage. I can use neuroscience and nutrition, give them tools and strategies, to reach their ideal weight. I can help with many things. 

But I cannot guarantee they will commit and follow through. Only they can guarantee their own results.

The issue is often this: do you trust yourself to follow through? 

guaranteed weight loss

When we make decisions out of fear of failure, we guarantee that we’ll just keep getting what we currently have. And that might mean things are getting worse.

Sometimes we’ve made decisions in the past that didn’t pan out. I sure have. But I learn from them, using those experiences to make better decisions in the future. I do not label those as “failures” or allow them to paralyze me. 

Are you waiting for a guarantee to lose weight? Stop. Instead, explore the risk of moving forward. And then explore the risk of not moving forward. Ask what you need in order to trust yourself and decide to make a decision that moves you more in the direction of what you really want. 

When you do move forward it will not be with an external guarantee, but with knowing that you have your own back to make it work, no matter what. You got this!

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