What happens when you mess up or go off plan?

How do you decide whether to stick with your healthy habits or to give up? Does it depend on the situation, like whether someone brought cookies to share at the office? Or if it’s raining at the time you planned to go biking?

Actually, it doesn’t. What it really depends on is… 

What it really depends on is whether you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. In other words, when you mess up is it an opportunity to grow or is it a reason to claim defeat?

This topic is particularly pertinent to children as what they learn when young will impact their future mindset. But while parents are concerned about instilling grit and resilience in their children, as adults we often practice these traits selectively. 

Consider how you react to different mistakes: 

Say you forget about a lunch date with your friend. You probably feel bad about it, apologize and move on. Maybe you figure out how your schedule went awry and change your process for going forward.

What if you sleep in, never hearing the alarm, and miss your workout? Can you move on with the same ease as the missed lunch? Or does it confirm your belief that you can’t stick with an exercise routine?

Or, consider the same failure viewed differently by different people. Two women overeat one night at dinner. One sees it as a momentary lapse and gives herself grace. She uses the experience to be more mindful in the future. The other sees it as confirmation that she has no willpower and beats herself up. The next morning she thinks “what’s the use…I blew it last night” and proceeds to grab a pastry and cafe mocha on the way into work.

The defining moment is how you interpret the mess up!

growth mindset
Photo by Miriam Alonso: https://www.pexels.com/photo/young-female-sleeping-on-bed-in-morning-7622514/

Do you want to stick with your healthy habits? Then you must rethink what you make these kinds of situations mean. And the longer your way of thinking has led to you giving up, the more effort it will take to rethink for a different, better result. 

Do not say to yourself, “this is just the way I am.” 

I get it. If you’ve behaved in a certain way, day after day, for years, it doesn’t feel optional. But growth is continual. It’s a choice. We don’t stop growing because we’ve reached a certain age.

So, when you notice that you’re making excuses based on circumstances, practice new ways of talking to yourself. Ask yourself questions that build resilience and cultivate a growth mindset, moving you forward to achieve your goals. 

That’s what a healthy hottie does.

5 ways to get yourself into a healthy routine

Getting yourself into a healthy routine can be tough. And sometimes we even make it harder than it needs to be. But the brain likes ease and if you learn to take advantage of it, creating and sticking with healthy habits will be much easier. 

Here are 5 ways I do that:

  1. Seek health AND enjoyment: make a long list of all the actions that will help you lose weight and feel good. Next, rate each action from 1-5 on how enjoyable it is for you. Start with those you rate a 4 or 5. As they become routine for you, consider adding the next level down. But start with where health and joy crossover.
  2. Develop non-negotiables: I don’t drink wine Monday – Thursday; the only exception is when I plan ahead for a holiday or being on vacation. The mental ease this creates for me is beautiful. I never need to argue with my toddler brain at the moment because the decision is already made. Start with one or two non-negotiables to integrate into a healthy routine. Once those are solid, add more.
  3. Schedule you first: if you try to squeeze healthy habits into your schedule once everything else is calendared, you likely find they don’t fit. Schedule those first and honor them like an appointment you have with someone you wouldn’t flake on. If this concept is new to you, at least in practice, start with small increments and build from there. 
  4. #winning: at the beginning of everyday ask yourself “How can I get 1% closer to my goal?” Then at day’s end ask, “What got me 1% closer?” And here’s the key: the things that get you 1% closer are all of the elements that make up your healthy routine. It’s not the number on the scale or how your pants fit one morning. Regularly see yourself as winning.
  5. Change how you talk about it all: instead of “trying to lose weight” or “trying to be good” or “not eat this/that,” talk about your healthy routine as something that feels amazing. As the best way to live. Talk about how excited you are to play tennis or hike, or about last night’s tasty, healthy home-cooked meal. Remember that your routine is FOR you, not a punishment. 
Photo by Nubelson Fernandes on Unsplash

When you implement these five strategies, you’ll find it easier to follow through the healthy things you want to do. And if you need help getting and staying on track, let’s talk about what it’s going to take for you to make changes for good.

Have you tried losing weight without trying?

I bet your “scam” radar just skyrocketed, but hear me out. Losing weight without trying isn’t that crazy. 

I did it in 2019 by asking “What’s possible for my health and body this year? How can I take better care of myself?” Weight loss was a byproduct.

Try it. 

What’s possible for your weight and body  in 2023?

Do NOT base your answer on your past. Your past only equals your future when you let it. 

It’s hard to believe you can do something you haven’t done before. My clients always start out in some form of disbelief:

Jennifer K. felt like a “plump old lady”, hated exercise and ate when she was bored. Today, she’s 3 sizes down for 3 years and counting.

“I hate exercise and I love sugar,” said Chris C. who went from an XL to M, and now enjoys exercise and veggies, still leaving room for sweets 😊.

At 62, MIke V. couldn’t keep up with the outdoor sportsman lifestyle he loved. But after losing more than 40 lbs. he feels alive, “living the life I want.” At his last checkup, the doctor said they have nothing left to talk about! 😉

These clients didn’t use willpower. They changed what they believed was possible. One small step at a time.

Photo by Chang Ye on Unsplash

I challenge you to do it, too. Ask and answer these three questions:

  1. What do I really want for my health and body?
  2. What do I think about my body and my ability to achieve my goal?
  3. What’s the most helpful thought I believe about my body and my capabilities?

#3 is key. Don’t keep repeating something that your brain thinks is B.S. Try something that feels less negative, more neutral:

  1. Exercise isn’t my favorite thing (instead of “I hate exercise”)
  2. My past doesn’t have to equal my future (Instead of “I’ve never been able to do it/keep it off before)
  3. Maybe my body can change (Instead of “this is just how it is”)
  4. I have a body (Instead of picking apart everything you don’t like about it)
  5. Sugar isn’t the only thing I like  (instead of “I love sugar!”)

Start here. Don’t obsess about what you should and shouldn’t eat or push yourself to do exercise you hate. Losing weight without trying comes with consistent follow-through of healthy habits you genuinely enjoy. And that requires a rewire of your brain.  

Decide that this is your year to have the health and body you want. 

You don’t have to end up “back here” again. The actions are easy. You know what to do. Now manage your mind to get it done.

8 Quick & Easy Ways to Kickstart Feeling Better and Getting Fit.

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