Coaching with Heather Moreno

How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail

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How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail

When we focus on how to succeed, we generally look to the outcome. If we get the outcome we want (like the scale going down) then #winning. If not, #loser.

It’s an outdated view of success. Binary. Winning is left – largely – to chance.

In truth, your success depends on your willingness and ability to recognize all of the ways that you are winning. 

Please do not gloss over that last sentence. Both willingness and ability are critical to you feeling super successful every day, no matter the outcome you achieve. Let’s break them down:

Willingness means not holding yourself to perfectionist standards. Maybe taking an ugly win. You were going for a 20 lbs weight loss this past quarter. You lost 3. Take the win. Acknowledge what you did to get there. Congratulate yourself that you didn’t gain 3, which was your past trajectory. 

Yes, assess the failure. Learn. Refocus. Retool. And go again. But go into it feeling like Serena Williams who knows she’s a winner, even when she’s lost a tournament.   

Ability is looking for what you might not normally think of as a success. Say you picked up that glazed donut and ate three quarters of it before coming to and thinking “whoa, what happened here?!” and put the remainder in the trash. You might be tempted to feel bad about what you did eat. Instead, take the kudos for stopping when you could have wolfed down the last few bites (do you know how hard that is?!). 

How to feel super successful everyday, even when you fail
Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

Take 47 seconds now and come up with five ways you’re winning today. Like you…

  • Ordered a grande instead of a venti
  • Took a 4-minute walk instead of scrolling to pass the time
  • Responded with grace and understanding to the complaining coworker you’re not fond of 
  • Walked the two flights of stairs to your office, even when the elevator opened right in front of you
  • Stopped halfway through a bag of Cheetos and put the rest away

If you want to know how to succeed it starts here, with recognizing all of the ways you are already winning. When you come from the place of being successful, you prepare yourself for successful outcomes. You are more likely to take the actions necessary to achieve your goals when you feel like a winner. 

Another way to win more…have a Strategy Session with me. Let’s talk. 

3 ways to control food cravings and stop sabotaging your weight loss

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3 ways to control food cravings and stop sabotaging your weight loss

Recently I started asking new members of my Group what they really need to know when it comes to losing weight and getting healthy. The most common response is “how to control food cravings.” Whether for sweets or salty, the desire is to crave those foods less, and eat more of the healthy stuff.

And it’s the issue that most of my coaching clients wrestle with when they first hire me.

And it’s the issue that will continue to challenge you without an intentional plan of action.

Let’s start with a basic truth about cravings. The more you give into them, the stronger they become. And the more you resist them, the stronger they become.

“Well great” I can hear you saying.

But knowing this gives you power to control food cravings and I’ll share three ways to do that:

1. Be prepared: Food is designed to be uber palatable. Manufacturers use sugar, fat, salt and chemicals to create foods that previously didn’t exist. The better it tastes, the more you eat (and the more profit they make).

Our ancient ancestors didn’t crave foods like we do. They needed to eat to stay alive. So when they had a taste of something they liked, a little dopamine was released into the brain to motivate them to seek more of it.

But today these super palatable foods use your physiology against you by releasing more dopamine, which drives you to want more. Notice how a few strawberries are sufficient, but one chip/cookie never is?

3 ways to control food cravings and stop sabotaging your weight loss
Photo by Conor Brown on Unsplash

2. Be the observer: Notice the craving when it comes, like you’re watching a movie. You can say something to yourself like, “Oh, I see my brain really wants something sweet (salty) while watching a movie.”

Then normalize it, like “Of course I want that…Nabisco has spent a lot of money to make sure I do. And, it’s something I’ve been eating for a long time.” In this way you logically poke a bit of fun at the craving and don’t make it such a big deal.

3. Be honest, kind and firm: Acknowledge there is part of you that wants to eat the thing and part of you that doesn’t. And that’s okay. You’re figuring it out.

Pay close attention to what you make it mean when you have a craving. If you start to blame yourself for being weak, for having no willpower, notice how those thoughts feel. Hint, like $h!t. So, not helpful.

At this point you let your brain know, “Hey, I see you craving chocolate and I get it. But we’re not doing that right now.” Each time you do this, you not only control food cravings…you reduce future cravings.

Each time you go through this process, ask yourself what you really want. What you’re really craving. Yes, the dopamine in your brain wants the food, but the you underneath it all wants something else. Something better.

Learn to crave that.

How to stay on track even when you don’t feel like it

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How to stay on track even when you don’t feel like it

You’re going along, following your plan. You feel great. Your clothes are loose. And then you have one of those days. Or weeks. And you think…

I’ve been so good, I deserve a break.

I just don’t feel like it.

I’ll get back to it as soon as…

Sound familiar?

Life comes at you fast. Which means you need to expect those days. And weeks. And you need to execute consistently to not only get results, but maintain them. That is…

What gets you there, keeps you there.

That’s why the first four steps are critical to stay on track. They set and then build on a foundation that is doable for the long-term. And by long-term, I mean your life. All of it. 

If that sounds scary, take a pause. Consider that everything you do or don’t do – small and large – impacts you down the line.  We don’t consider that very often. But I think we need to start. And not in some judgmental I-just-ate-a-cookie-and-I’m-a-fat-pig kind of way. I’m talking about being thoughtful with the things that are important to you. 

Do not confuse this with being hyper-vigilant. Obsessive. Perfectionistic. I’m recommending that you be intentional. Otherwise you’ll fall back into default mode, which for most of us is NOT following through.

We’re wired to conserve energy. To take the easiest path. It helped keep us alive for most of human history. But today we need to recognize that the easy way is often the hard way. 

What?!

How to stay on track even when you don’t feel like it
Photo by Steven Lelham on Unsplash

A client of mine once shared with me the adage: you can do what’s easy and life will be hard, or you can do what’s hard and life will be easy. 

Consider what taking the easy way gets you down the road. Like spending money you haven’t budgeted or ordering another drink, even though you’re at your personal limit. In the moment what’s easy becomes the hard you deal with later. And that later can be weeks or years later, from a budget shortfall for the month to not having enough to retire when you want. From feeling not-so-great the next morning to still struggling with excess weight ten years later. 

This final step in my 5-step process – executing consistently – requires that you keep the other steps in play. That means regularly uncovering then transforming your sabotaging thoughts so that you continue to take action towards your health and weight loss goals. It includes being clear on your “why,” keeping it front and center. And then continually experimenting with your plan, noticing what works, refining and doing it all again. 

Executing is about living a lifestyle that gets you what you want, and keeps you there. Set yourself up with foods you enjoy and activities you like. Make follow through as easy as possible to stay on track. Keep looking at your thoughts so that you notice when your brain sneaks up on you and starts telling lies (you know, the ones about it being too hard or that you’ll never succeed…yeah, those crummy thoughts). 

And don’t wait for it to get easier to stay on track. You’ll simply look up one day and notice that it is.

Stay tuned…because execution is critical, next I’ll talk about “How to keep consistent with healthy habits when life throws you off track.”

8 Quick & Easy Ways to Kickstart Feeling Better and Getting Fit.

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