I’ve observed a common trend among women as they age – a tendency to doubt what’s possible. There’s often a belief that getting in better shape requires too much effort or a foolhardy attempt to turn back the clock, leading many to settle for the status quo.
So they end up with a vague desire to be healthy. And it’s never enough to get them through the grind of what it takes to be genuinely healthy and to lose weight.
The annual cycle of enthusiasm in January, setting weight loss goals, initial success, losing track, regaining weight, and repeating the process every few weeks or months becomes an all-too-familiar pattern.
And while step one is foundational to breaking the cycle, step two is equally crucial.
Step two is to “Clarify,” a process that involves identifying what you want and what holds genuine significance for you. It delves into the question of why you should bother with all of this. Life is unpredictable and messy, and without a deep understanding of what truly matters to you, relying on what you’ve done in the past won’t lead to lasting change.
This is the foundation of true self-care: understanding your motivations and desires is integral to a healthier and more fulfilling life.
And it requires honesty about what you really want.
In recent years there’s a trend toward not focusing on weight loss. There’s the message that we shouldn’t care about how our bodies look…that it should all be for a higher purpose, like being an example for your daughter or preventing type two diabetes that runs in your family. And if that’s true for you, fantastic.
But if you want to feel great in your clothes, if you want to look hot in a dress…and I’m taking these words directly from the things my clients have told me… then own it! You have to claim your motivation even if you think you’ll be judged for it, even if you think it’s not good enough, even if you think it’s – heaven-forbid – shallow, own it. (Notice that step one will come in handy if you have any of these thoughts.)
If you find yourself starting and stopping, feeling guilty for what you’re doing or not doing, or somewhat ambivalent about follow-through, then you have some “Clarify” work to do. Start by asking yourself powerful questions, like:
- If age wasn’t a factor, what would I go after?
- What could be possible if I prioritized self-care?
- What goals would I set if I believed 100% that I could achieve them?
When you’re clear on what you want, you feel more naturally motivated. It feels easier to follow through. This is why my clients succeed, we dive deep. We don’t just count calories. “Clarify” is the basis of deeply rooted motivation, making everything else easier.
Invest your time and energy in getting clear. Next time we’ll move on to step three.